I wrote this skit years ago, in hopes that I could someday present it in church. I had forgotten about it until now, so I decided to share it with you all.
Stage Right: A family appears to be on a car trip. There is a sign that points to Disneyland.
Child One: Are we there yet?
Father: Not yet.
Child 2: How much farther.
Mother: Not much longer. Be patient.
Child 1: I’m hungry!
Father: You should have eaten more when we stopped before.
Child 2: Are we there yet ?
Mother: No, sweetie.
Child 1: Ugh! This is taking forEVER
Child 2: I have to go to the bathroom.
Child 1&2: Are we there yet?
Stage Left: Lights come up. Jesus is leading a young woman by the hand. There is a sign that points to “Blessings”
Woman: Are we there yet?
Jesus: Not yet.
Woman: How much longer?
Jesus: Not long. Be patient.
Woman: But, Jesus! I give and I give and I give.
Jesus: You’re doing well. Almost there.
Woman: It’s not fair. Ugh! This is taking forEVER.
Jesus & Father : (in unison) I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!
Stage Left: A little boy and his mother walk by a candy store.
Boy: Can I have a candy?
Mom: Not today, sweetie.
Boy: But I want a candy!
Mom: And I said ‘No’.
Boy: But whyyyyyyyy?!
Mom: It’s too close to dinnertime and you still have candy at home from your birthday piñata. I know you’re going to stuff your face with more later. You’re going to get sick.
Boy: No, I won’t. I promise.
Mom: Yes, you will.
Boy: Nuh-UH! I don’t care what you say! I’m gonna get a candy ANYWAYS!
Stage Left: A teenage boy greets Jesus. They fist-bump, hug, etc.
Boy: Hey! Jesus! Love you, man! How’s it going? Listen, I met this girl-
Boy: But she is SO-
Boy: Oh, come ON! Why not?
Jesus: Because you don’t know her, you’re parents raised you better, and she doesn’t even know me.
Boy: Sure, she does.
Boy: Well, I’m gonna! I don’t care what you say.
Jesus and Mother: (in unison) You’ll be sorry.
Stage Right: A little girl is playing with her doll by her father’s feet. The father is scrolling constantly on his phone.
Girl: Daddy! Look at my dolly!
Father: (not looking up) Mmm-hmm.
Girl: Daddy? Look!
Father: (still not looking up) Yes. Pretty.
Girl: Daddy, can you play with me?
Father: Later, honey.
Girl: Hey, daddy. Remember the time you took me to church and the pastor told us about Jesus, and how he is coming very soon?
Girl: Remember? We are going to live with Jesus soon. In heaven. I can’t wait! Daddy?
Father: Not now, honey. I have to do a thing.
Stage Right: Same father is on the stage by himself, holding the dolly in his hands.
Father: God? God?! Where are you?! Where is everyone? What happened? Please…Can I pray? Can you save me? Jesus? Anyone?
Jesus enters and strolls right by the father. The father runs to him and grabs his hand with a pleading look.
Jesus: I have to do a thing.